My Secret

She describes my pain. Her words are what I feel, but can't discuss. I have to keep it a secret and pretend. It's one of the hardest things I've ever done: to pretend I don't love him more than anyone in my entire life.. To pretend that he's not the "one" for me. Sometimes love touches us so deeply that no amount of hurt or lies by that person can erase the mark left on our heart and soul. He came to me out of the blue and left me just as quickly. But while he was here, he invaded every cell in my mind and body. He took hold and put me under his spell. He got in when I had sworn no one ever would again. Then he was gone.

Listen to the words of this song because she knows what I'm feeling. So I'll take the pain and do what I always do. I'll throw myself into my work and go on. I'm strong like that. I'm thankful for that small moment in time, I got to experience true love in my heart and feel it flowing back to me from his. We both know the reasons he had to leave, but in all these year, it hasn't made it easier. "Doing the right thing" for his son was the most important and I understood that, but it's still hard to see him and wonder what might have been.

Enough of this stuff. I've really got to put on some happy music and let it go. It's just seeing him today has put me in a terribly sad place. I will love him until I take my last breath. He will be my last thought this side of the grave.

Christy