She Is With Me

As all of you know, most writers tends to put his or her emotions on the page in front of them.

I, too, do the same. I pour out everything that's in me; pain, joy, sadness, happiness encouragement, frustration and loneliness.

Tonight's blog is no different.

As I stated before, July is a hard month for me, especially the last part of it. No matter how much I throw myself into work or whatever, I can't seem to make it through without feeling deep sorrow.

The only way I know how to deal somewhat with that sorrow, is to write.

So here is something I wrote for my special one in Heaven.

My heart died that day. And I was changed forevermore.

She Is With Me

So tiny, so fraile, so delicate

Silence so loud it deafened me that day

Why did you leave me?

You were mine.

You were a part of me

I loved you

I willed you to stay, with everything in me.

But you couldn't

So you left me.

My heart cried out, "Why? It's not fair!"

You were everything

My love

My heart

My baby

I miss you as though I'd known you all my life.

I ache for you

Pain drowns my soul.

My heart isn't complete anymore

A part is missing

Broken forever.

I think of you everyday

And imagine what you look like in Heaven.

Long little curls that frame your delicate face

Your beautiful blue eyes, big and round

Your giggle, your crooked smile

Your sweet voice that would have called me mommy.

Why did you leave me when I needed you most?

I look for you each day in everything around me.

The butterfly that flutters past me and catches my attention

Is it you?

The sudden breeze that cools me when I'm hot

Is that you as well?

The bright sunshine that peeks through the dark cloud

I know it's you

You are here with me

Although you're gone.

I feel you.

I miss you.

I love you.

My daughter.

Lauren Grace

July 29, 2009

Forever remembered each day