Sour Grapes!!

We are all familiar with this term "sour grapes", but I wonder how many understand what it really means.

Merriam-Webster dictionary defines it this way: Disparagement of something that has been proven unattainable. Example: his criticisms are just sour grapes.

Another definition is: acting mean after a disappointment.

The origin of the phrase is attributed to Aesop, the Greek writer of fables. The fable explains that a hungry fox saw a cluster of grapes on a vine. He tried with everything in him to get them. He used all of his tricks to try to reach them, but it was all in vain. So instead of accepting defeat in not being able to obtain what he wanted, he turned it around by saying that he really didn't want the grapes after all because they were probably sour.

As I think about this, there are MANY examples that come to mind. But I'll share a couple.

I remember seeing an actor a few years ago that had given THE performance of his career. It was a very dramatic role and audiences loved it. The movie ended up being a box office hit and the actor's co-stars were recognized for their performances in supporting roles, but the lead actor was not. He was snubbed by the acting community of which he was a part. His skills weren't appreciated it seemed by his fellow thespians, leaving entertainment reporters everywhere puzzled by his non-nomination.

When asked about it in interviews, the actor then turned on the award, saying that he really didn't want it anyway and that it was only an award that meant nothing in the first place. Maybe that was true in his mind, but others were convinced that he, like the rest of Hollywood, wanted that coveted award sitting atop his mantle as well. So his statements about the award were deemed "sour grapes" by the press. He would have been better off not saying anything, but rather smiling and being happy for his co-stars and the other nominees.

Another example is one that is a little closer to home. I used to go to bingo with a friend of mine and she would bring her boyfriend at the time. As he played and his numbers dwindled down to the point of being close to bingo, we could see his eyes light up and the expression on his face change. He would get a little happy at the prospect of winning some money. But when someone else yelled "bingo!" his face turned hard and he would find bad things to say about the game, the place, and the other winner. He would run them all down to the point that I asked him why he even bothered to go at all. And so I deemed his statements "sour grapes".

One last example is about a man who wanted to date a particular woman. He found her very attractive and had heard that she was easy to get to. He had heard many things about this woman that wasn't true. But he, like others in town, took them to be the gospel. So he tried his hand, calling her, emailing her, texting her, but nothing seemed to be working. Every time he tried, he found himself to be "striking out", as they say. The woman had zero interest in the man. She had tried to make it clear from the beginning but either he couldn't seem to grasp her hints or he was egotistical enough to think that he would eventually wear her down. After several months of trying and failing, the man suddenly became irritated at the woman and turned on her. He found reasons and times to make her look bad by inserting what he thought was subtle insults into conversations. But the woman was SO much smarter than he gave her credit for and she would come back at his barbs with jabs of her own. She was NOT the naive, little girl that he thought he could easily trick. She was instead a smart woman with an intuition that she followed closely after having been the victim of men before him, that had tricked her. She had been through a lot and in that is where she learned to trust her gut. There is where she finally took off the blinders and opened her eyes.

So in the end, the man's actions and statements were chalked up to being "sour grapes" at not having gotten what he wanted.

I want to make it clear today that there is a difference in being truly hurt by someone and just having sour grapes. True hurt in when someone you love has done something so bad to you that it affects you deep in your heart and causes pain.

Sour grapes are usually someone's ego or pride being bruised at not having gotten what they coveted.

So if you've been hurt by anyone, truly hurt, go to that person and try and make amends today. I guarantee you that the one who hurt you is feeling just as terrible about it as you are.

But if you are just smarting from not getting what you want, then grow up. You're an adult, stop acting like a child. Only children throw tantrums when they're turned down.

Side note: I know that sometimes I go on and on and may speak in circles, so I hope I made this clear enough for everyone to understand. Have a great day!!

Remember to work hard and Dream Big!!

Much love,

Christy