Still

I was listening to one of my favorite songs called "Still" by Hilary Scott. It's absolutely beautiful because it describes EXACTLY what we are supposed to do when we are waiting on God.

Most of you know this story, so bear with me while I tell others who aren't familiar with it.

When I lost my job in early 2015, I had enough savings to live on until I could find another job. I began applying everywhere in the city in which I lived. I even applied at a few places in neighboring towns. I figured for sure that someone would call and offer me employment because, in all my adult years, I'd never had a hard time getting hired anywhere. My family and friends always laughed and found it strange how I could find and get jobs when it seemed no one else could. But that's just how it was for me. Until 2015, that is.

In the beginning, I didn't really worry about a job, I had my savings and I felt sure the phone would ring at any time and I'd soon be back to work. So I waited and continued to work on my first book, The Letter.

After I finished it and did a couple of book signings, I had time on my hands and quickly realized that half of the year had passed and no one had called me about a job. I still wasn't worried, per se, just starting to wonder, if you will, about what was going on and why things were different. I continued to apply for jobs online and even by going into different places and filling out old-fashioned paper applications, in hopes that one of them would say "you're hired".

Bear in mind that during this time, my sister had loaned me her car because the year before I had come out of a five year, abusive relationship in which he took everything from me, including my vehicles. And being unemployed made it almost impossible to get one. Also, my rent was almost six hundred dollars a month and I could see the end of my nest egg quickly coming into view.

I had been praying for God's help all along but things were beginning to look serious for me. I knew that something had to be done but wasn't sure what else to do. I was actively seeking employment, doing the extreme couponing and making meals that would have leftovers for another day. I was cutting back on expenses.

During this time, it seemed as if a huge storm began to brew in my life. I got more serious with God, praying all night at times for things that I needed. Over the next couple of months when I laid down to sleep, it was as if I could see the walls of my room actually closing in on me. It felt as if all four were moving toward me, little by little each day.

I was beginning to feel fear take hold in my mind and heart. I was worried about my money running out and my inability to find a job. I knew the longer it went on, the more behind I would get on my rent, utilities and such.

The days came and went, and I had applied everywhere I could in two counties. With no relief in sight, a friend suggested that my son and I move back to WV. She said that she and her husband would help me clean out my mom's old house enough to get in it. THAT was the last thing I wanted to do, even though I knew in my heart it was the ONE thing I was supposed to do. It's been my experience in life that before God tells someone else something, He always tells us first. It's just up to us to listen. Oprah Winfrey always said that God gives you a whisper, then a tap on the shoulder, then a pebble, then a brick to the head if necessary to get you to listen. LOL. I like that analogy. Anyway, I had been thinking the same thing about moving for a few months, I just didn't want to go back there. I had left open wounds there, old ghosts from the past were waiting for me in WV, ones that I'd run from to escape and I had made up my mind that I wanted NO part of it again.

I continued praying each day for God's help, but now I was fighting depression and a suicidal spirit. It seems as if that spirit has gripped me all of my life. I have battled it at times, narrowly escaping its clutches. I remember sitting upright in my bed each night in the dark begging God to help me. My mind was a mess. I was scared, feeling as though I was in a tornado and nothing would ever work out. I knew I had faith, but it seemed to be alluding me somewhat.

One night, I remembered the verse in Hebrews 11:6 that says we must have faith and we must believe God is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. I felt as though I was doing that already. I was praying around the clock it seemed, and at the same time, I knew to thank Him ahead of time for what He was going to do for me, although I had NO idea when or what.

One day I was sitting in my living room, folding a basket of towels. The tv was on but I hadn't been watching it and had no idea how it ended up on The 700 Club. I had seen the show on before but wasn't a viewer of it. Not that I had anything against it, I had just never watched it before. I was going about my business when I heard the lady say that God was going to do something miraculous for someone. I know that's a common thing for preachers (especially tv preachers) to say, but for some reason, it caught my attention that day. I looked up at her to see her eyes closed and her hand outstretched to the camera. She asked that we pray with her because someone watching her right then was going to get help for a problem for which they had been calling on God. She said, with closed eyes and an odd look on her face (I think it surprised even her) that God was going to bring a miracle to someone but it would come from an unusual circumstance. "It won't be from the way you think it will be", she said. So I put my hand toward the tv and I received her message and prayer. From that day, I held on to that promise from God, because somehow I knew it was me that she was speaking about. So I latched onto it and I began to thank God for answering my prayers. Each night in my prayer time, I asked for three things specifically. I knew that God already knew my needs but I wanted to ask him for the things I was desperate to have in my life. After all, Matthew 7:7 tells us to ask and it shall be given, so I did. I asked God for a house of my own that I could afford (by this time, my sweet land lady had let me pay 400 of rent each month), I asked Him for a job and I asked Him for a car. I specifically said, "God it doesn't have to be a new car, just a used car will be fine". But wait, let me back up. During this time of hardship and everything seemingly falling apart, my sister took her car back from me. She didn't need it, she just took it. I drove it home and parked it, gave her the keys and it sat in her driveway for the next year with no one driving it.

Why? Your guess is as good as mine. I think because when God is getting ready to bring you a miracle, the enemy will fight you with everything he has to get you down. We've all heard the saying, "it's always darkest before dawn", well it's true.

So now, my son and I had to start riding the transit bus everywhere we went. My son was walking three miles a day to work and I was taking that little bus to the store when I needed to a couple of times a week. Let me tell you, it's hard riding a hot little bus with 20 other people who are all in the same boat as you. The heartache you feel as you look around at the others who have fallen on hardships is almost too much to bear at times. But I did what I had to do and was thankful. I had a friend in town who ran the homeless shelter and she would come occasionally on the weekend if I had an emergency trip to make, but pretty much I was riding the bus or walking the couple of miles to town and back.

EVERY night I felt the fight get worse, I felt the walls close in tighter and I felt it harder to breathe. But, EVERY night, as I sat in my bed, I remembered what the lady on tv said, and I kept hold of that "promise" if you will. I knew in my heart it was for me. I continued to ask for those three specific things, the used car, a house of my own, and a job.

One day in late September, Robin McGraw, Dr. Phil's wife announced the contest on his show that would change my life. For every ten dollars you donated to her foundation, When Georgia Smiled, which helps bring awareness to domestic and helps victims, you were entered into a drawing to win an overnight trip to Los Angeles. I gave my ten dollars because I had been a victim, never thinking I'd ever win, and I went on my way.

I continued with my prayers, but continued to feel more desperate and more scared. By that point, things had gotten really bad and moving was no longer an option but a necessity. So now, I needed money to get a U-Haul and take all my furniture to WV. That would be expensive.

In my trying desperately to figure it all out, worrying and wringing my hands, I applied for a job in KY, which was about half an hour from my old hometown, (the one where I would end up), and to my surprise, I got a call for an interview. Money was tight and I would have to travel up there to see them. So my son and I rented a small car and made the trip and I was hired. My only problem was, I had no place to live. My mom's old house had been empty for almost two decades and my brother in law had stacked it so full of junk that there wasn't even a path in which to walk through. I spent a few nights with a friend, and then some nights with my ex-in-laws (amazing people). We began cleaning out my mom's house, but there was still the issue of being able to afford the U-Haul. I had been working for a few days when the email came that I had been chosen as a finalist in the contest, that frankly, I had forgotten having entered. I called my friend Angie and asked her to pray that I would win and that they needed to do a Skype interview with me and the other nine finalists.

That night, they called and told me that I had won the contest. I was thrilled and it was about three weeks later that my son and I finally left for CA. I had no idea what they had in store for me, but God did. God had worked it out long before I ever entered the contest and he sent me the hope to cling to via the woman on The 700 Club. I told my story on the show and they gave me a brand new car, a 2016 Dodge Dart, on December 9th, 2015. So, I had gotten all three things that I prayed for in faith believing that God would answer. I had my job, my house, and a NEW car, not just a car.

You'll never be able to convince me that God doesn't answer prayers because I know He does.

I wanted to share this tonight to let you all know that God CAN do anything you need Him to do. If you need a healing, He can provide that. We are told in Isaiah, 53:5 that with His stripes we are healed, meaning the stripes that Jesus bore for us. So claim your healing. We are told of God's promises to help us all in His Word. I could write all night long and tell you, but you can read it for yourself and let it come alive in you.

Whatever you need, God is capable of helping you. He is right there wanting us to come to Him for help. I can still hear my old pastor quote Psalm 46:1, "God is a very present help in trouble" and it's so true.

It wasn't just me God did all of that for, it was for anyone reading this blog who needs to be uplifted tonight. You see, whatever we go through is not just for us alone. The trial AND the lesson is to be shared with others so they will hear and believe in God too. When God answers your prayers, don't keep it to yourself, tell people of His goodness. I know when I hear of the good things God does for someone, it increases my faith because I know He can do it for me as well. We all know that God does not show favoritism, Romans 2:11. I remember attending church with a woman who apparently thought she had God all to herself because she would get up in front of everyone and say with her haughty, prideful spirit, "I'm God's favorite". That left a really bad taste in the mouths of a lot of people attending that church and even passing through. You should never think that because the Word teaches us that's NOT how God feels. My point is that God loves us all, it's just His way.

I want you to know that God will bless you IF you believe in trust Him. He wants you to let go and allow Him to bring miracles to your life. If He does it for me, then I know He'll do it for you. Ask Him, then back up, give Him the space to work and watch Him bless you in front of the world. During one of the hardest times in my life, when I was facing haters in my hometown, God set a table before me in the presence of those enemies. Just like the Bible says He will. He blessed me in front of those who hated me. He is good!

Listen to this song, it really is what God wants from us.

Much love,

Christy